The Nine-Enders: Evaluating at 19, 29, & 39

Hi, my name is Joyice and I am a nine-ender. Let me explain. 

A week after my June birthday, I shared that I was drafting a list of things I wanted to start or complete before I reached 40. Since then, I have created a four-season process filled with a project for each season to help me navigate my thirty-ninth year as my prelude to 40. I’ll return next summer to tell you more about it. For now, it’s all about processing being a 39 year-young woman. 

Identifying A Pattern of Three 

I am a lover of both the number three and three-stranded cords. The number three adds much value to my life and I can usually, instantly identify a threesome and apply stunning meaning. It’s a gift, some say. Is there a number or symbol that holds special significance for you? Count it no surprise that I am completely enjoying my sets of three this year: 3 and 9–three threes.

For me, it was quite natural to welcome thirty nine with open arms and bask in its glory because I bear a knack for understanding its binding energy and what makes it set apart. {P.S. This sweet, magical energy surfaces at 33 and 36 too, and is why I believe the third decade is a standout experience in life.} While thirty nine is heavy on “three” energy, “nine” takes up space too as it marks an end. Applying spiritual or energetic thought, it is necessary to know if your season is a beginning, a transition, or an ending. To be fair, beginnings and endings are technically transitions too but they are of a particular variety. For me, June 2024 – June 2025 represents “an ending.” So, what’s so important about ages that end in 9? 

Understanding the Nine-Ender Phenomenon

Approaching 39 is not simply about gaining another year but embracing a milestone, often referred to as the “nine-ender” year. This concept, based on psychological research, suggests that individuals reaching the end of a decade—like 29, 39, or 49—tend to reflect more deeply on their life and are inspired to make meaningful changes.

{Learn more in Daniel Pink’s book, When; The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing.}

The term “nine-ender” originates from research by psychologists Adam Alter and Hal Hershfield. Their studies show that people at ages ending in 9 often become naturally more introspective, as closing a decade invites a call to accomplish our goals and evaluate the meaning of our lives. What areas of your life are calling for more attention or transformation? I recall this feeling at 29, but it is more pronounced this year. Apparently, these feelings of urgency and evaluation heighten as we age because each end-decade carries its unique weight.

Alter and Hershfield’s studies also suggest that as individuals approach the end of a decade, they are more likely to engage in “evaluative self-assessment.”

Some include: increased reflection–we tend to reflect and assess our lives for personal satisfaction; life transitions–this period often includes a new wave of boldness to career pivot, reevaluate relationships, or a renewed focus on health. Nine-enders usually take transformative action to address the gaps they see in their lives; cultural/spiritual significance–the number nine is the last of the single-digit numbers, representing finality {and if you’re Bible believer, divine completeness,} maturity, and fruit-bearing.

These attributes also logically follow a new beginning {and that would be 40 for me.} When applied to the human life cycle, this transition often subconsciously resonates with this notion of closure and renewal. {P.S. I could go on about the fruit-bearing nature of the number nine. It is the harvest season of the given decade of your life. Reap EVERY GOOD THING that has your name on it here!} 

Sitting on the Edge of 40 

At age 39, people begin to contemplate their approach to their 40s, viewing it as a defining life stage. On the edge of 40, many seek purpose and desire to create meaning— “Am I where I thought I’d be by now?” “What do I still want to achieve?” “What can I change to ensure my 40s are fulfilling?” This end-year carries significant value for me but perhaps one of the greatest is my preparation to enter 40–a season of wisdom, female maturation, and more mother wit. The wisdom I have gathered through life, community, and my experiences has become my personal story that offers me much presence and power. So, my thirty-ninth year has served as an invitation to not only reflect on how far I have come but as a reimagination of where I want to go. 

Mother Wit is defined as “… the wisdom women develop based on their lived experiences. It is a type of knowledge that is informed by women’s common sense, relationships, informal interactions, and life lessons…In addition, it signals the intelligence and astuteness that women can have, even if they are not formally educated.” ~ Encyclopedia of Motherhood 

Be encouraged to view this age not as just another year or birthday but as a time of transition that, if approached intentionally, can serve as a powerful catalyst. I have appreciated this year as a psychological opportunity to process my mortality and my placement on the lifespan timeline. Come my next birthday, I will technically be too young to be “old” and too old to be “young,” resting somewhere in the middle. I recall my mother’s words the most in the season, “Your whole life you are young until you are not. It just happens and it’s quite the shock because all you have ever known is youth.”

This age shift is not just about me as a person, either. It also strikes me to utter the sentence: Millennials are turning 40. I consider persons born between 1981-1996 millennial babies, so at 2024, we range between 28 to 43 years old. I heard somewhere once that if you are born in the first four years of a generation, you are the “older” group of said generation. Interestingly, I do refer to myself as an “older millennial.” By the time 1986-87 babies enter the chat, I sense some noticeable differences, though we hold more common experiences than anything. But, once 1990s babies enter, it is mostly a different world, so us older millennials are our own subgroup, and the last of us—1985 babies—are turning 40. Cray!

Modern society increasingly embraces the idea that 40 is just the beginning of a new chapter, and I take this path, mostly because there are many Black women who have charted the way. Some Black women of influence who achieved notable accomplishments at age 39 or were in that transformation phase:

1. Harriet Tubman was actively working as a spy and scout for the Union Army during the Civil War. 
2. Toni Morrison published her first novel, marking the beginning of her notable literary career.
3. Audre Lorde published her collection of poetry which earned her a nomination for the National Book Award. 
4. Cathy Hughes created Urban One, one of the largest African American-owned media companies in the U.S.
5. Angela Bassett had starred in several critically acclaimed films, including How Stella Got Her Groove Back. 
6. Shonda Rhimes began developing Scandal, one of the most popular shows led by a Black female protagonist. 
7. Serena Williams defied age and expectations, reaching the U.S. Open semifinals and holding her position as a top player.
8. Tabitha Brown rose to success broadcasting live cooking shows and product reviews; and she is now “America’s Mom.”

Making the Most of 39

I’d like to pass the torch to my fellow, but younger millennials, who hold 39 on their horizon. This is a beautiful time, and if you are intentional with it and sensitive to it, it can be a fulfilling season. Rather than viewing 39 as daunting or anxiety-inducing, see it as a unique opportunity to set the stage for a satisfying future.

1. Engage in Self-Reflection: Use this year to actively reflect on your life—both its successes and its challenges. Journaling, meditation, or working with a mentor or therapist can provide valuable insights. What have you learned in your 30s that will help you in your 40s? What do you want to release, continue, and keep as you transition into this new chapter?
2. Set Clear Intentions: I am here for external achievements, but this is your reminder to set personal intentions that align with your character and values too. What kind of person do you want to be in your 40s? What can bring you transformation and fulfillment? Intentions, unlike goals, aren’t about checking off boxes—they’re about living in alignment with your desires and beliefs.
3. Embrace Flexibility: Life may or may not look the way you expected, and that’s okay. Flexibility is key to navigating this transition. Be open to new opportunities, whether they involve career changes, lifestyle adjustments, or personal growth. Release rigid timelines and embrace the idea that your life path is uniquely yours.
4. Reconcile Aspiration and Realization: Balancing idealized visions of your potential with the realities of your current circumstances allows you to set realistic and meaningful objectives that reflect your authentic self. It is important to align your strengths and limitations (or do the work to become,) rather than chasing unattainable ideals.
5. Focus on Health and Well-Being: At this age, caring for your physical and mental health becomes even more of a priority. Your body and mind are valuable assets as you move forward, so treat them as such. Be mindful of your stress levels, get good sleep, and create memorable moments with others. 
6. Strengthen Relationships: Contrary to the “do me” attitude, as humans, we need each other. So, nurture your friendships and other relationships. This can include letting go of the ones that give more burden than blessing, but avoid isolating yourself or burning your village. The U.S. The Surgeon General has declared an epidemic of loneliness. It seems society is paying the cost for a lack of community, village mindedness, and third spaces. As social beings, we need social connection and healthy relationships to survive and thrive. To quote New York Times columnist, David French, “there are few higher and better callings than to forge a bond with a person and provide a place where they belong.” 
7. Plan Your Arrival to 40: There is no one way to approach this but I brainstormed different categories and synthesized them in four major areas of my life {that I later designed as projects.} I chose four so I could have three months per category to equal a year-long journey. I am a late Spring baby so by the time my birthday passed and I settled into my new age, it was summer. Likewise, I marked my four categories with each season from Summer 2024 to Spring 2025. My intentions and task list for each area were the big parts of my life or identity that I wanted to be so by the time I turned 40. So, I designed my year and ordered my steps unto that end. 

While I created my own plan, it was inspired by a team of nine seasoned women in my life. I asked each woman: What is one nugget of advice you would gift a woman turning 40, thinking back on what you have learned or gleaned since you turned that age yourself? Their responses helped me add some prudence and foresight to my planning and more intention for my journey, and I hope this blog post helps you do the same. Cheers to all my 2024 nine-enders!    

We grow as we go,