The Jesus Year: Thriving Thirty Three

The number three is referred to as a “recognizable pattern” in many spaces, but I am most familiar with it in business. In my professional background, based in finance and strategy, we present to our clients by identifying three issues or metrics to highlight. 

APPLYING THE RULE OF THREE

This recognizable pattern does not just exist in my career but also in my education and spirit world. In elementary school, I learned how to write stories in three parts: introduction, development, and conclusion. I also noticed that complex theories were introduced using a method of sorting the content into groups of threes. While earning my MBA, I regularly simplified financial concepts into sets of three too: Cash Flow Statement, Income Statement, Balance Sheet. Why does the number three seem to be so easily visible in almost every facet of learning and life?  According to “The Rule of Three: A Simple Tool for Delivering Clear Messages,” from the International Journal of Business Communication, there is a natural ease for humans to recognize and process information in groups of three, making retention more accessible, and thus quicker. 

THRIVING IN THE JESUS YEAR

As a Black, Christian woman, part of our theology links to a trinity as the Father-the Son-the Holy Spirit. This was one of the first lessons I remember learning in Sunday School–one divine spirit, three manifestations. The power of the number three also resonates universally as “mind-body-spirit” or “birth-life-death.”  According to Biblical scholars, at 33, Jesus was crucified and had his purpose and legacy reflected to him. Now, the yearlong process of the thirty-third year is referenced as the Jesus Year in popular culture. Even Urban Dictionary defines it as,

“The thirty-third year of your life where you are reborn in some sense. Perhaps a mid-life crisis, perhaps an ego death, perhaps the year where you abandon old ways and start new.”

Approaching the halfway mark of my own Jesus Year, I realize how special this age is. Especially, the fact that this is the only time in my life where two-threes make up my age. It’s a magically transformative time, for sure. It represents opportunities to closely consider my possibilities of growth and to evolve in: how I position myself for the future; how strong I am across spiritual, physical, emotional and mental capacities; and to think about how to build and fortify my relationships to an even deeper level.

Abbott Elementary is one of my favorite all-time television shows. It’s not just Janine’s lovable earnestness or Barbara’s maternal energy or the fact that the show is set in one of my favorite cities–Philly! It’s the commitment to allowing the characters to grow and evolve over time with such possibilities of change. Quinta Brunson was certainly in her own Jesus Year as the success of the show reached its height. At that time, having written {and filmed} the second season, she was thirty-three. By its end, our heroine, Janine, makes some significant changes – she formally ends her relationship with her boyfriend of 11 years, decides to take a “big girl” break from the classroom, and sets boundaries with her mom. Whether I view these transformations through Quinta’s view as a female writer or through Janine’s character as a female teacher, 33 is special.

TAKING CARE OF ME

Reflecting on this third decade, and planning for the rest of it, these sorts of decisions that Janine makes echo what I want for myself. So, I am embracing the lessons that come with hardships as they only strengthen my character. This year, at 33, I joined a competitive leadership and development program, LEAD Atlanta, to broaden my network and expand my leadership skill set. I accepted more complex assignments at work, like leading a 1,000-person office move and mentoring a former peer-turned-direct report to challenge myself to grow. Finally, I showed up for my family and friends differently, initiating hard conversations about expectations, outcomes, and grace in ways I haven’t been as courageous to have before. On the other side of these choices, I am more mature in exchange for being mindful and consistent.

Next, I’ve been intentional about my mental and physical health. I’ve lost over 20 pounds so far and committed to a regular sleep schedule and a much healthier diet {portion control!} I am actively in therapy, and I monitor the content {books, television, social media} that I intake for my wellbeing. My spiritual health is nurtured through consistent journaling, intention setting, prayer, research, and exploration. Embracing more change, I also accepted a new role {a promotion with a pay bump!} because I had outgrown the one I was in. This year is teaching me about other aspects of my strength too. Not just in how much I weigh or can lift, or even how much I can endure, but managing and monitoring my daily stress levels too. Today, I will decline invitations to prioritize my rest and be available for my inner circle. It has allowed me to experience life more holistically and with much more joy. Though I have about six months remaining, I’m proud of my midyear progress.

TAKING CARE OF OTHERS

Above all, what 33 is really teaching me is how important it is to prioritize my relationships, pouring into those around me and walking away from what or who does not serve me . I’ve invested time and energy to gain clarity on the type of relationships I desire. One of the most eye-opening books has been Fighting for Our Friendships: The Science & Art of Conflict and Connect in Women’s Relationships by Danielle Bayard Jackson. She writes,

“Our friends are not mind readers. Even when it comes to something we feel should be obvious…we have to realize that we’ll never achieve a level of closeness that transcends the need to communicate.”

And that, dear reader, is a gem I’ve gleaned and carried with me. I’ve evolved into a woman who communicates her needs, boundaries, and displeasures in the appropriate relational contexts that are presented. This evolution does not always come easy, though extremely beneficial. I’ve listened to others recount my own mishaps and decided to be accountable for my part. I don’t always get it right, but I am leaning more into my secure attachment style. As a result, I am quicker to identify and nullify my own codependent tendencies.

PASSING THE TORCH

I am thankful for the big sisters who have gone before me to share more insight into this magical decade. Especially how the power of three remanifests at thirty-six and again at thirty-nine. Years from now, I want my future self to be proud. So, I am putting in the work now to become. This work isn’t in vain, and even when it becomes challenging {which feels very often right now,} I rest in the fact that it all comes together for my good-because it always does. For my younger girlies who have yet to approach 33, I encourage you to lean into making the hard decisions and taking on the challenges as they come. Now’s the time to move intentionally for the life you desire as you become the {older} woman you want to be. 

~Timka